Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Non-custodial support; Why it is not a gender issue....

What is the one thing that those of us who are having problems with the family courts and/or CPS have in common??? We are non-custodial parents



What exactly makes a person non-custodial??



The reason is different for just about every case. Some similarities or methods, but why allow that little difference divide us into cliques??



I was asked why its important for NCDs (non-custodial dads) should support NCMs.......



My question is; Why not?



We need rallies and events on nationwide levels that can be done in whatever town, in whatever state. There are micro-rallies, and lighting candles around the world, fatherless day. After holding a fatherless day rally, I received allot of correspondence asking about or requesting a motherless day. The more rallies the better right?? We do need a unified public demonstration system that is consistent and includes all aspects of what we are protesting for. EQUAL PARENTING



Of course we should try to focus allot of our attention on our state capitol buildings. However, not everyone can always go that far for every rally. Some states' geography makes that difficult. Any of these rallies can be held in your town square and be just as effective......

Motherless day and Fatherless day respectively are based on the holidays; Mothers Day and Fathers Day. We cannot ignore the need for supporting those parents who cannot see their children on these days. No matter what statistics you have, it still hurts regardless of gender. I believe that the biggest thing that is preventing forward progress is how people hold their animosity for their exes and it carries on in how they relate to people of that gender. Until we unify regardless of our pain we will go nowhere.

Lets support each other. We all hurt when we are taken away from our children for no reason. Corruption sees no gender, it only sees $$...... The more we fight, over such petty details the longer it will take for reform. Our true enemies laugh at us all the way to the bank. This will happen until we become a unified force.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Who is regjoeschmo???

I am only 27 years old, I can only relate to my own experiences and research. I am wrong on many occasions. Feel free to correct me, but please use facts and resources. I do love a good debate, but arguments get everyone nowhere.



My main issues stem from my life as it is right now. I won't go into details for the sake of the innocent, but I am actively involved in family law reform. Unfortunately the best interests of our children are being overlooked in a majority of high conflict divorce/custody cases. So what can we do when two parents do not get along?? How can a mediator or judge adequately discern who is the "better parent"??



Therein lies our biggest problem......How can anyone determine a "better parent"??? This is not the job of these state/county officials, but so many times it is expected of them. We need to pass legislation that prevents the need for court decisions where there is no need for intervention. This will also grant the courts the ability to make adequate decisions when they do need to intervene.



For those of you who have been in the family court system, I ask; How many times have you seen the courtroom overloaded?? Would it be easier to ask; How many times have you seen less than 10 cases being seen on the day your case is presented to the court??



Im going to leave those questions open ended for now.



I personally believe that this corruption we hear so much about is not based solely on gender. I honestly feel that not every employee of the family court are using the SS Title IV-D as their main reason for their actions.



Does this mean I do not believe that these two situations do not happen?? No......I have seen gender bias, I have seen decisions made primarily on SS Title IV-D funding.



We as citizens are constantly asking for people to not generalize or discriminate against us, yet we are constantly doing so to others. If we outright blame every judge, every caseworker, every mediator for the actions of the others, we will only accomplish defeating our own movement.



We should not have to prove ourselves "fit" as parents, we should be proven "unfit" by proper application of due process. There is no assurance of this, and no accountability of those who do violate our basic constitutional rights.



Every child loves their parent no matter what. That is unless they are told otherwise. Without a standard of shared parenting we will continue to ruin our children. If you dont agree with this please read this article: http://www.apa.org/releases/custody2.html



Many statistics can be used to show that single parent households make for sociological chaos. Here in America the statistics mostly used are called "fatherless statistics"..... I (as a father) do not like to use such terms. Statistics can be made to say things they do not actually say by putting certain titles on them.



Do not let this statement let you think that I deny that a majority of women in America get sole custody, and this is detrimental to our children. My reasoning is that while these statistics are based on a biased standard, an evaluation of them is also biased. What will happen to our children without mothers???



What we do know is that children are better off with both parents in their lives. Parents as well are better off with their children in their lives as well.